on beauty

What is beauty?

There is a lot of pressure on girls and women everywhere to act and look a certain way.

Working with middle schoolers has opened my eyes to the notion of beauty. Pair that with living in what I believe to be one of the most superficial nations in the world and it is hard to ignore the topic. There is an ideal here that women tend to adhere here that I just don’t seem to fully understand, nor do I fit into it and nor do I care to try. There is a general fascination with “cuteness” and the shortest skirts ever, really, and super high heels. I’m not saying I don’t like cuteness, short skirts, or high heels…. They both have their place in the grand scheme I suppose. There is a lack of diversity here amongst style and appearance, when a new sweater or pair of shoes hits the market, it’s strange really, because it seems that in a matter of two days everyone is wearing it! The same thing! It seems like an expensive and wasteful fashion sense, if you ask me.

This city is heavily advertised with signs and screens portraying the seeming “perfection” of white skin and the “western” face shape (whatever that is….). The make up products and skin care regimes that each woman and young girl seem to use are enhanced with whitening agents, causing a sort of ghostly appearance, taking all healthy color out of their skin. Plastic surgery is more common here than I have ever heard of any place else, with men, women, and girls and boys even, getting everything done from their eye shape, nose, cheeks, legs, breasts, well… almost anything it seems. Advertisements cover every bit of open space, with before and after photos of faces, and really… I think they look better before almost every time!

My middle school students often come to class after a long weekend or vacation with the all too familiar bandages of an “eye job” or cheek tuck. They are thirteen years old! Sometimes I do a free writing journal for my students to record whatever they want and it won’t be shared with anyone, but I let them know that I will read it. It is the rule, not the exception that those pages are filled with how they hate the way they look, they are ugly, need to change this, can’t wait to get plastic surgery or “need” plastic surgery, and that and are the “wrong color”. Oh it breaks my heart.  Parents pay for and encourage their children to have these jobs done. Children are discouraged from playing outside at all because of the sunrays that will darken their skin. So kids that are allowed to play outside are often bundled up!

So much effort is put into appearance here. It seems there are often judging eyes everywhere, summing the others up, checking if they have properly adhered to the “rules” of beauty and youthful cuteness.

I try to speak to my students about the need to be themselves, and that there are all kinds of bodies and styles. I played a video about the power of Photoshop in advertising, trying to get it across that they don’t have to look like the ads! But it hardly makes a difference, I think; I am just one case for the other side! That beauty is also within! That there is something wonderful about diversity and individuality.

It is time for parents to teach young people early that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength. ~Maya Angelou

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years.

~Audrey Hepburn